Have you ever looked at three or four generations of a family and discovered that a peculiar trait was handed down? Perhaps a hook nose or a jutting chin? Something that is almost cartoon-like in its singularity? It is funny how our connectedness can be seen in outward manifestations.
Three years ago my mother’s family began a tradition of having a cousins’ reunion. It was such a great time, sharing time and meals with people I knew and loved, some I rarely see anymore, and a few I had never met before. All converged here on our little corner of Iowa, where the family got its start in America. At the time, we decided to have this gathering every three years and this weekend marks the second cousins’ reunion.
After several hours of interaction with five generations of our family, I quietly made a quick little observation tonight at the opening event. I haven’t talked to anyone about it yet, so I thought I’d talk about it here. My family came to this country like almost everyone else – without much. That was our fortune at the time, but it was not our destiny. We have all done exceptionally well at what we’ve set out to accomplish.
In visiting with each of the relatives and their families tonight, it dawned on me that each of us has inherited wealth that has helped us along and proven vital to our success. Money? No, it is a personal feature that isn’t related to money or material well-being. And like a physical peculiarity, this feature stands out and makes itself apparent across the generations of our family, especially when we are all together.
We seemingly have each inherited the remarkable ability to enjoy a situation for what it is and to share that joy with those around us, instantly making memories and creating bonds with others. Some might say that this is a behavior, something that is learned. I say it is an innate ability, related to who we are and who we came from, something that is in our DNA as surely as our eye color and skin tone.
Some time in the mid 19th century, my great great grandfather came to America to eventually settle in western Iowa and raise a large family. No doubt it was difficult and dangerous to make the trip from his native Ireland. And surely it wasn’t all roses when he finally arrived and settled. Homesteading was not exactly a “free ride”, after all. There were trees and rocks to clear, fences to make, homes to build, and crops and livestock to raise. Not to mention, often these folks were sending some of their money back to the “old country”.
But in the letters that we’ve found between different family members from those years, in the newspaper clippings, and even in the obituaries, there is one thing that stands out about him and each of his children. It is an enduring optimism and happiness, even thru the toughest of circumstances. This immutable joy, bubbling just below the surface, is even more evident in some of the period pictures. They show not only a fierce determination in the eyes, but also a mischievous twinkle – the look of someone preparing to place the whoopee cushion. It is something I remember so well about my grandfather – his easy smile, sense of humor, and unending generosity all stemmed from his ability to simply enjoy life, whatever life might entail at the time. It is easy to see and understand that this isn’t something he learned. No, he was born with it, a gift from his ancestors and a gift that he passed on as well.
Thanks for the gift grandpa, I love you and this is dedicated to you. Wish you were here.